In Germany, Zlatan Ibrahimovic had just smashed in two goals as part of the calling card Paris St-Germain left with Bayer Leverkusen. The second was a peach left-footed, 25 yards, and still rising as it arrowed into the top corner and a reporter asked him about the fact it was his wrong foot. Zlatan's eyes narrowed. "There is no wrong foot," he pointed out.
Cristiano Ronaldo, who probably wishes he had thought of that line, will get his turn in the Champions League next week. Lionel Messi's came against Manchester City and another decisive contribution even on a night when he restricted us to brief flashes of his greatness. Messi clipped his penalty past Joe Hart as though immune to the pressures of his industry, almost as if it was an impostor who needed to hold on to the lectern to control his shaky legs as he collected his first Ballon d'Or. Yet it was actually something that happened in the warm-up that will last longer in the memory.
The sight of Messi playing long‑distance keepie-ups with Dani Alves, from 40 yards, was certainly a mesmerising sideshow. For 10 minutes or so, Messi found a different way to control the ball every time. His thigh, his chest, the outside of his boot, his shoulder, and then the beautifully weighted volley back. Alves barely had to move six feet in any direction during the entire exercise (the Brazilian wasn't too shabby himself). For those of us by that side of the pitch, it was almost hypnotic.
There was a time when English football wanted Wayne Rooney to be this player, enjoying the view from the highest point of his profession. It never quite turned out that way but the new deal Rooney has just signed at Manchester United is a reminder of his position in the sport. It is a superstar's contract and perhaps the most astounding thing is that I would not be entirely surprised if £300,000 a week falls short of the true figure once the basic salary £240,000, I am reliably informed – has image rights and other commercial bonuses added.
Manchester City's information when they wanted Rooney in 2010 and their transfer negotiator at the time, Brian Marwood, goes back years with the player's adviser, Paul Stretford was that the financial package he subsequently got out of United was altogether worth a weekly £300,000. If that is correct, it is not very likely Rooney and Stretford have just negotiated a pay freeze.
What can be said with absolute certainty is that the numbers are astronomical when Rooney is slowly turning towards the downhill curve of his professional life. He is 29 in October and it is a big assumption on United's part that he will still be capable of menacing opponents by the age of 33. In journalism, there is an old saying of never assume. In football, it clearly does not work that way.
United traditionally have offered 12-month contract extensions when a player reaches 30, but that policy appears to have been dismantled. Rooney will take around £86m, or possibly more, over five and a half years, minus the percentage that goes to Stretford. Until recently, Rooney has given the impression he considers Old Trafford a five-star prison. He now reputedly earns more than Messi, who is two years younger with four Ballons d'Or among his portfolio. Stretford, not short of ego already, must think he is out of this world. There are people at Old Trafford who probably wish he was.
Alternatively, Gary Neville makes a legitimate point when he asks how much United would have to fork out for a like-for-like replacement in the current market. Pretty high, one would imagine, if that player is actually out there and available. Bayern Munich already have plans in place, in the form of Robert Lewandowski, but it is not easy predicting what Chelsea and Arsenal, two of the clubs United have to measure themselves against on a weekly basis, will do next.
Chelsea had been pinning their hopes on Rooney one newspaper was informed last summer that it was "only a matter of time" and Mourinho's shoulders tend to slump when the subject turns to where his team might be if they had a more accomplished centre-forward.
As for Arsenal, the most startling point about their defeat by Bayern was not actually the way Mesut Özil's penalty scrambled his mind. It was that Arsène Wenger started an occasion of such significance with a 21-year-old in attack who had previously been restricted to 127 minutes of football all season, without a single goal. Yaya Sanogo's story about almost giving up football to become a postman makes good copy. It is, however, the kind of story more often heard before the third round of the FA Cup than an elite night against the European champions.
United have had to weigh up that if they did cut Rooney free he would have turned up at one of the London clubs, almost certainly Chelsea, when Robin van Persie is now in his 30s, back in the cycle of picking up injuries, and goalscorers are more valuable than ever. Liverpool have Luis Suárez and Daniel Sturridge. City have Sergio Agüero, Álvaro Negredo, Edin Dzeko and Stevan Jovetic. On that basis alone, United had to keep Rooney.
They have certainly done everything they can to fluff up his ego given that the manager, David Moyes, and the chief executive, Ed Woodward, have also let him in on their transfer plans, in complete contrast to the stance Sir Alex Ferguson and David Gill took before his previous contract was signed.
So, why the difference? "We're seventh," was the first reply when I asked that question a while back. Ferguson told Rooney expletives removed – to mind his own business when he requested to be kept in the loop (and suggested Özil was a good signing) in 2010. This time around, there has been a greater understanding at the top of the club that United, with their current issues, have fewer selling points, and that a player of Rooney's status is entitled to ask about their strategy. Don't confuse that with thinking he has the Glazers on speed dial, or that he has a say about what needs to be done. It is, however, still a break from the norm. Nobody else at Old Trafford gets that kind of privileged access.
Yet Rooney will have done, in theory, 15 years as a United player by 2019. To put that into context, Bryan Robson and Roy Keane managed 12, Denis Law 11, George Best 10 and Eric Cantona five. Rooney's goal at Crystal Palace means he needs two more to draw level with Jack Rowley, on 211, as the third-highest scorer in United's history. Denis Law is next, with 237, and Sir Bobby Charlton has 249. At this rate Rooney should be there within two years. That, by any account, constitutes authentic greatness.
OK, that perhaps does not tell all the story. The awkward truth is nobody will be campaigning for a new statue when Rooney overtakes Charlton. Not yet, anyway. His name is sung, loudly, at every game, but his status does not sit easily with everyone at Old Trafford.
At times, with two transfer requests behind him and various dalliances with City and Chelsea, his relationship with the club's supporters has strayed dangerously close to breaking point. Spiteful banners went up in 2010. Men in balaclavas turned up at his door, to ask what was going on with City. He has been fortunate the crowd have been so lenient this season, but the idea that Rooney will eventually become a club ambassador is a remarkable piece of indulgence when, to borrow Ferguson's phrase, he has spent so long trying to find a better cow in the next field.
"It never really works out that way," Ferguson said. "It's probably the same cow, or not even as good as your cow." Instead, Rooney and Stretford have milked United for everything they can. The figures are dizzying. Yet it is still probably a better deal for United than the alternative.
Sheikh missing out on the fun at Manchester City
According to the small group of people inside Sheikh Mansour's circle of trust, nobody could be more enthusiastic about Manchester City's matches. He insists on being wired up wherever he is in the world and, at the Abu Dhabi royal family residence, he often invites friends and business contacts to join him in front of the home cinema. "Just like any other group of mates who support the same club," as an associate once put it.
Even if it is unlikely to imagine the sheikh and his guests chucking peanuts at each other or loudly cursing Michael Owen's co-commentary.
Five and a half years after their takeover, the Abu Dhabi United Group has been around long enough, with £1bn already spent, that nobody should confuse the sheikh's non‑appearance with a lack of interest. Yet it was a shame he could not make it for the Champions League tie against Barcelona. He is obviously a busy man and getting about is not straightforward bearing in mind the security that went into his one visit three and a half years ago. All the same, everything seemed perfectly reasonable when it was reported that his private jet was on its way.
Those surely are the nights when the sheikh should be able to make the most of his investment. As it is, he has not been back since attending the first home game of the 2010-11 season, when Roberto Mancini's team won 3-0 against Liverpool. He has never seen Sergio Agüero, or David Silva, he missed the Mario Balotelli experience, and he was several thousand miles away when Agüero drew back his right boot to change everything against QPR that time. Each to their own, but somebody should tell him it is much better fun in the flesh.
Ravel Morrison's tale strikes cord with Kevin Kilbane
After last week's article about Ravel Morrison wanting to leave West Ham because he felt the manager, Sam Allardyce, and the captain, Kevin Nolan, had allegedly been trying to get him to sign with their agent Mark Curtis – allegations that all the relevant people have denied – I am directed to a passage in Kevin Kilbane's autobiography about when he was a 20-year-old at Preston North End, just after he had won his first Republic of Ireland call-up.
Allardyce had previously been a coach at Preston and, according to Kilbane, got back in touch to suggest the player had a meeting with Curtis. "I was still very much in awe of Big Sam and highly likely to heed any recommendation of his, so I agreed to meet the two men at the Tickled Trout hotel in Preston," Kilbane writes.
"Naively, I couldn't work out why Sam was so keen for me to sign with Mark Curtis. Mark produced a pre-written contract and I think he expected me to sign there and then. However, it didn't feel right to commit myself so quickly and I told him I wasn't sure about it. It felt awkward but part of me didn't want to let Big Sam down."
A second meeting was arranged. "When I looked at the contract more carefully, I realised that by signing the paperwork not only was I agreeing to his fees, but also to handing over a substantial percentage of my earnings for the length of the contract."
Kilbane turned the offer down but Curtis accepted his decision "without too much of an argument". Kilbane read the Morrison column and tweeted: "My ears did prick up more than normal. He's a class act and should be nurtured not sent on loan."
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